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Commentary:
"Imagine politicians being chosen like winning lottery numbers – 'And the lucky representative for District 10 is… 42!' 🎲🎉 Who needs campaign promises when you have lady luck on your side? #RandomSelectionForPresidentialElection"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

1 month ago
fitness, girlfriend, gym, humor, irony, joke, rat, relationship
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

1 month ago
activity, democracy, fun, fun activity, humor, kid, kids, money, movie, parenting, pizza, vote
I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

1 month ago
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I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

5 months ago
communication, humor, i, internet, love, media, posting, problem, sharing, social, social media, thought, thoughts
Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

1 month ago
advice, growth, humor, judge, judgment, less, life, little, personal, personal growth, perspective, self-reflection, should
I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Spotted on Facebook:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Breaking via TikTok:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Making waves on Discord:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Going bananas on TikTok:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

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There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

I’m addicted to placebos.

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There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

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