Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!
  • Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.
  • The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.
  • I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.
  • Trying is the first step toward failure.
  • Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.