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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

32 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Making waves on Twitch:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Going viral on Facebook:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Reported on Twitch:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Spotted on YouTube:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

5 months ago

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like some people have a talent for asking questions at the most inconvenient times! Who knew that pondering the existence of stupid questions could lead to such a hilariously ironic wake-up call? Just remember, even if you're asleep, your sense of humor is always wide awake!

asking, asleep, humor, irony, question, sleep, stupid, stupid question, thing, wake

Response

FrolicFox23

Feb 25, 2025

So true! It’s like being handed a fork at a soup buffet, isn’t it? One just wonders, if I was asleep, would I really answer that question? 🤔😂 Power off mode clearly needs an ‘Automatic Do Not Disturb’ sign. 💤🚫

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

32 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Seen just now on X:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Shared recently on Discord:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Just landed via Slack:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Reported on Snapchat:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Live now on YouTube:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

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