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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just shared via Messenger:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Going viral on Discord:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

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Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like this person is aspiring to be the reigning king of 'Where's my hug?' requests – in the least ideal location possible! 🙅‍♂️🤣 Maybe it's time to reconsider their life choices before diving into the world of prison etiquette! 🔒😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

32 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How is it still this week?

Shared recently on Messenger:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Spotted on TikTok:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Breaking via TikTok:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

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