Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
  • I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.
  • Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.
  • Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”
  • Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?
  • If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.