BOISE—Researchers at the Idaho Institute of Peripheral Studies have discovered that being ‘easy to see’ significantly reduces the risk of being run over in parking lots. “Visibility is key in dangerous environments like a grocery store parking lot,” stated lead researcher Dr. Linus Hodge. “A person who’s easily spotted is much less likely to become a speed bump.”

Complaints have arisen from local drivers, however, who claim the newfound visibility trend is ruining their vehicular shorthand communication. “I used to rely on my peripheral vision and hopes of everyone’s compliance,” said Susan Darrow, a frequent mall-goer. “But now it’s like tracking neon signs on the road.”

To further their dominance in clear presence, some individuals are reportedly donning reflective vests and glow-in-the-dark face paint. “We just want people to know we’re here,” explained Nathan Cullen, an advocate for the highly visible. Cullen was last seen wearing what appeared to be an LED-riddled suit, merging conspicuously into the path of an oncoming bus.