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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap Iโ€™m sorry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

A haunted house, but itโ€™s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Spotted on Discord:

Donโ€™t worry, Iโ€™m only dead inside from the waist up.

Going viral on Facebook:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I donโ€™t know how this works.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Spotted on Twitch:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Live now on Instagram:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Spotted on Slack:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Humorous quote about politics and cheese promising calorie-free cheese if elected.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Finally, a candidate with the power to make our cheesy dreams come true! ๐Ÿง€๐Ÿšซ No more guilt, just melt-in-your-mouth goodness ๐Ÿคค #VoteForCheese"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Iโ€™m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I generally donโ€™t know what the hell Iโ€™m doing, but Iโ€™m really good at it.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I donโ€™t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if weโ€™re not talking.

65 shares on X this month:

Nothing bores me like twins who donโ€™t look alike, you shouldโ€™ve just dropped later if youโ€™re not going to participate.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We hate the same people and itโ€™s so romantic.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Youโ€™re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Wishing all the contacts in my phone โ€œMerry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserveโ€ and just letting that work itself out.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Might start signing off emails with โ€˜well, I hope youโ€™re happyโ€™

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

Imagine hating me and Iโ€™m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to โ€˜In The Air Tonightโ€™.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Parenthood is so crazy. Weโ€™re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Live now on LinkedIn:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Iโ€™m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Going viral on Facebook:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Just landed via Twitch:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Just landed via YouTube:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Making waves on Facebook:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Breaking via Messenger:

We always asked โ€œwhere is Waldoโ€ but never โ€œwho is Waldo hiding fromโ€.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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