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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

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2 months ago

banana, creativity, decide, decision, humor, inventor, language, person, spelling, stop, wordplay
Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

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2 months ago

annoyance, blue, humor, i, listen, loud, music, neighbors, noise, playful, red, rhyme, rock, rock music, roses, too, violets
How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

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2 months ago

existential, figment, humor, identity, imagination, just, know, question, reality, self-awareness
Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

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2 months ago

adjuster, call, comedy, dinosaur, disaster, end, every, getting, humor, insurance, insurance adjuster, jurassic, Jurassic Park, movie, park, phone, phone call, reaction, should, throwing
Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

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2 months ago

barber, change, every, fear, haircut, humor, men, new, trust, trying
Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

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2 months ago

around, experience, first time, humor, just, life, living, observation, realization, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

71 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Just shared via Messenger:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Live now on Pinterest:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨