Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.
  • I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.
  • The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.
  • The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.
  • Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
  • This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.