Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Going viral on Threads:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Going bananas on Telegram:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Seen just now on Discord:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Running into those folks who make us question evolution like 🤔🧬 Maybe they missed the memo to keep evolving? 🙈 #EvolutionaryHiccups"

break, evolution, humor, irony, life, observation, oh, people, think, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

0

5 months ago

anguish, communication, digital, digital communication, emoji, emotion, express, expression, humor, sort
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

0

2 months ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show
Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

0

2 months ago

bullied, chatter, conflict, food, head, humor, inner, inner conflict, mental, mental chatter, stomach, voices
I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

0

2 months ago

alive, Chinese, Chinese food, commercial, food, humor, i, life, once, seen
When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

0

2 months ago

comfort, couch, dr., Dr. Seuss, humor, place, relaxation, seuss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on X this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

94 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

81 shares on Facebook this month:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Live now on TikTok:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Making waves on Slack:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Live now on Twitch:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Going viral on Threads:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Just shared via Reddit:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Trending via Instagram:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨