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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Spotted on WeChat:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Just shared via X:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Trending via Slack:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Trending via Reddit:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Spotted on X:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Clever and humorous quote about the chaos of oversharing online thoughts.
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Commentary:
"Thanks to social media, we now have a front row seat to the greatest show on earth – The Theater of Absurdity starring the cast of Humanity 🤪🎭💭"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

94 shares on X this month:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

84 shares on Threads this month:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Just shared via Discord:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Trending via Slack:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Trending via Twitch:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

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