LAS VEGAS—Local art mogul Harold Crispen has announced he’s begun perceiving the world through the lens of his favorite color: money. “Why bother with blue or red when green is so universally enriching?” commented Crispen, while inspecting a suspected counterfeit bill. “It’s practically a lifestyle choice,” he added.

Crispen reportedly insisted his meals consist exclusively of freshly minted bills, claiming they are not only nutritious but delightfully crinkly. “Kale and arugula have nothing on the satisfying texture of a twenty,” Crispen argued. “And just wait until you gnaw on a gold coin; talk about a balanced diet!”

In an ambitious feat, Crispen plans to repaint his mansion using crushed banknotes rather than paint, hoping to secure his place in art history. “You can keep your Picassos. There’s no greater masterpiece than being surrounded by wealth’s vibrant allure,” Crispen insisted, while cheekily checking the latest Wall Street reports for a splash of ‘color.’