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🚦🚶 "Welcome to downtown – where the crosswalk signals play a friendly game of 'suggestions only' and you navigate through puddles hoping they're not secretly plotting to be giant pits of doom!" ☔️💦

city, city life, crosswalk, downtown, hope, humor, life, puddle, sarcasm, signals, suggestions, water, welcome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

1 month ago

actions, actually, behavior, control, crazy, drunk, excuse, just, people, stuff
The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

3 months ago

4, 4 a.m., a.m., am, disturbing, early, early riser, exercise, humor, morning, morning routine, most, people, purpose, riser, routine, thing, waking, waking up
Running from your problems is cardio.

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

1 month ago

adulting, age, arrest, funny perspective, house, house arrest, humor, life, life stage, longer, perspective, sounds, stage, thing, where, worst, worst thing
High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

2 months ago

awkward, catch, crazy, crush, glimpse, hell, high, high school, i, just, love, memory, over, running, school, teenager, why
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Spotted on Threads:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Going bananas on Slack:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Trending via Instagram:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Seen just now on Slack:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

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Activity Log ✨

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Running from your problems is cardio.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

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Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Running from your problems is cardio.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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