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🚦🚶 "Welcome to downtown – where the crosswalk signals play a friendly game of 'suggestions only' and you navigate through puddles hoping they're not secretly plotting to be giant pits of doom!" ☔️💦

city, city life, crosswalk, downtown, hope, humor, life, puddle, sarcasm, signals, suggestions, water, welcome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

2 months ago

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Nobody rots in bed like I do.

1 month ago

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Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

2 months ago

admin, admin duty, being, duty, fantasy, indiana, Indiana Jones, jones, professor
I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

4 months ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulting, feel, humor, i, large, life, life struggle, looking, portion, procrastination, responsibility, struggle
I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

1 month ago

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It’s strange being the same age as old people.

1 month ago

age, being, humor, irony, old, old people, people, perspective, same, strange

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

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Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

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There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

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As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Shared recently on X:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Trending via Slack:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Trending via Threads:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

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Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

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Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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