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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,884

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Seen just now on Slack:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Live now on TikTok:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Seen just now on Twitch:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

2 months ago

0

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Twitter – the magical land where folks turn into all-knowing geniuses in 280 characters or less! 🧙‍♂️💡 Just remember, on this platform, even a cat could be considered a leading authority on quantum physics. 🐱🔬 #ExpertsEverywhere"

everyone, everything, expert, humor, irony, media, online, opinion, sarcasm, social, social media, Twitter, welcome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

0

3 months ago

annoyance, awareness, behavior, bothering, humor, i, inform, interaction, me, observation, pattern, people, personality, social, social interaction, stop, tell, warning
Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

0

2 months ago

arms, baby, betrayal, disappointment, else, emotional, holding, humor, humor quote, loyalty, put, relationship, someone, trust
I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

0

2 months ago

advice, date, dating, dating advice, first date, house, humor, i, pay, payment, person, relationship, should, think
I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, mornings, need, people, social, social interaction, speak, speaking, stop, thinking, wish
Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

0

2 months ago

ass, broke, home, house, humor, i, left, Ludacris, money, once, staying, staying in, take
That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

0

2 months ago

corner, frustration, humor, losing, me, microsoft, Microsoft Word, revision, technology, word, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Threads this month:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

58 shares on Threads this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

98 shares on Discord this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,792

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Live now on YouTube:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Trending via Pinterest:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Just shared via Discord:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Breaking via Reddit:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Just shared via Snapchat:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Just landed via Reddit:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Trending via Reddit:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

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