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Commentary:
"Who knew the fish would take the bait so literally?! 🎣 Looks like you reeled in more than you bargained for this time! Maybe it's time to upgrade to catch-and-release fishing…or invest in a bigger frying pan! 🐟🔥"

activity, actually, caught, caught fish, deal, fish, fishing, fishing trip, humor, i, outdoors, shit, trip, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

2 months ago

haunted, haunted house, head, house, humor, inside, introspection, just, loneliness, mental, mental state, mind, own, self, spooky, state
I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

1 month ago

cooky, diet, diet pill, eat, eating, food, help, humor, i, loss, nervous, pill, push, push down, stick, struggle, throat, weight, weight loss
Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

2 months ago

call, distance, exercise, fardio, humor, long distance, pun, running, wordplay
People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

1 month ago

bullshit, earlier, hour, humor, morning, morning routine, people, priorities, routine, sarcasm, say, should, time, wake, wake up
My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

1 month ago

away, coming, excited, going, humor, knows, pretty, sure, surprise, trip, weekend, wife
Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

1 month ago

cold, fan, food, food preference, frozen, frozen pizza, humor, joke, opinion, pizza, preference, too

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Seen just now on TikTok:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Seen just now on Slack:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

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Activity Log ✨

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

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Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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