Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?