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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Making waves on WeChat:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Just shared via Snapchat:

69 but we both just farting.

Trending via TikTok:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Going viral on YouTube:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Seen just now on Threads:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let this be a friendly reminder to always drive safely, unless you want your passengers to inherit grandpa's knack for drama!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

99 shares on X this month:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Live now on X:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Spotted on X:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Going viral on Facebook:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Just shared via Telegram:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Spotted on Messenger:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

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