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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,796

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Going viral on Telegram:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Shared recently on Messenger:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Spotted on Telegram:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Going viral on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Making waves on Twitch:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

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When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.
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Commentary:
"When life hands you lemons, you can't help but wonder if it's trying to start a citrus war 🤔🍋 Maybe those lemons are just misunderstood and in dire need of a good old-fashioned chat 😄 After all, nothing zesty should go to waste! #LemonConspiracy"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

91 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The peace of not knowing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to stand in the shower about this.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,918

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Live now on TikTok:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Live now on Twitch:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Shared recently on Threads:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Live now on TikTok:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

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