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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Trending via X:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Spotted on YouTube:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Just shared via Telegram:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Making waves on Threads:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Spotted on Slack:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Just shared via Twitch:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Just shared via WeChat:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"When life hands you lemons, you can't help but wonder if it's trying to start a citrus war 🤔🍋 Maybe those lemons are just misunderstood and in dire need of a good old-fashioned chat 😄 After all, nothing zesty should go to waste! #LemonConspiracy"

ask, attitude, back, frustration, give, humor, lemons, life, perspective, questions

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

13 shares on Threads this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

56 shares on Discord this month:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

88 shares on Messenger this month:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Spotted on Threads:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Trending via Reddit:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Just shared via Twitch:

My recliner and I go way back.

Making waves on X:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Shared recently on Threads:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

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