Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a fancy meal when you can just have ice-cream and call it a balanced diet? 🍦💪 Just remember, a scoop of ice-cream a day keeps the doctor away… or maybe not, but it sure keeps your spirits lifted! 😄🍨"

calcium, dinner, food, food humor, humor, ice cream, meal, meal planning, nutrition, planning, protein, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, news, relaxing, things, tornado
Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

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5 months ago

Coca Cola, conflict, even, humor, irony, peace, Pepsi, restaurant, rivalry, same, want, world, world peace
I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

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2 months ago

account, after, bank, bank account, checking, finance, fun, good, hate, having, humor, i, money, regret, spending, time
My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

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2 months ago

commit, commit crime, crime, DNA, everywhere, hair, humor, i, identity, leave, me, never, personal, personal trait, trait
Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

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2 months ago

apology, consolation, crouton, feel, food, humor, salad, sorry, toast
Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

0

2 months ago

character, childhood, fantasy, humor, imagination, me, neverending, Neverending Story, nightmares, still, story, wolf

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

27 shares on Twitch this month:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Making waves on WeChat:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Going viral on YouTube:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Spotted on X:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Live now on Pinterest:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Going bananas on Discord:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨