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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

56 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Just landed via YouTube:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Reported on YouTube:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Just shared via TikTok:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Seen just now on Threads:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Making waves on TikTok:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Jan 26, 2025

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

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Commentary:
Oh, the thrill of decoding your own secret messages courtesy of your own chicken scratch! 🐔📝 It's like a personal puzzle game where the only prize is the satisfaction of finally figuring out what you meant to jot down. 😄 Who needs cryptic codes when you've got your own messy handwriting to keep you entertained? 🤔🔍 #PenmanshipPuzzles #MysteryNotes

bad, fun, handwriting, humor, just, later, little, mystery, notes, solve, writing, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

56 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Making waves on Facebook:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Going viral on Telegram:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Making waves on Telegram:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Just landed via Threads:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Making waves on Discord:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Trending via Twitch:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

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