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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask β€œis it in yet?”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has downloaded:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Introverts have fun, too β€” we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Messenger:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Going viral on Instagram:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Live now on Pinterest:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Just shared via Slack:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Spotted on Reddit:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Going viral on WeChat:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Going viral on Discord:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

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When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.
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Commentary:
Oh, the thrill of decoding your own secret messages courtesy of your own chicken scratch! πŸ”πŸ“ It's like a personal puzzle game where the only prize is the satisfaction of finally figuring out what you meant to jot down. πŸ˜„ Who needs cryptic codes when you've got your own messy handwriting to keep you entertained? πŸ€”πŸ” #PenmanshipPuzzles #MysteryNotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has shared:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has copied:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Instagram:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Breaking via YouTube:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Freshly posted on Threads:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Going bananas on Instagram:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

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