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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Spotted on WeChat:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Spotted on Slack:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

0
Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems Scooby was too busy chasing snacks to notice the scent of betrayal! 🐾👻 Maybe his nose was too clogged with the smell of mystery and delicious Scooby Snacks! 🍗🔍 Who knew dogs could be detectives AND foodies? 🐶🕵️‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

20 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you breakdance you buy dance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Trending via Threads:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Just landed via Facebook:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

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