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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Just shared via Pinterest:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Breaking via WeChat:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Going viral on Telegram:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Broadcasted on X:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

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Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?
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Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of 'free time' – a misnomer for sure! It's like a budgeting black hole where money disappears faster than a magician's rabbit 🎩🐇💸 Who knew being financially liberated could come with such a price tag? 😂💸 #MoneyFleesWhenFree"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

85 shares on Threads this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

29 shares on X this month:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

48 shares on Slack this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

81 shares on Discord this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Just landed via Messenger:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Shared recently on Threads:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Trending via TikTok:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Just shared via YouTube:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Shared recently on Reddit:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

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