PORTLAND—Local woman and self-proclaimed “Forgiveness Financial Analyst,” Carmen Reynolds, announced this week that all apologies directed towards her should be accompanied by a monetary transaction. “I’m just simplifying the process,” Reynolds explained. “Why say ‘sorry’ when you can say ‘cash’ instead?”

Reynolds, notorious for her unique take on remorse, now wears a t-shirt reading, “Apology denied until Venmo verified.” Her friends reportedly praised her business acumen. “It saves time and feels strangely transactional,” said friend Ben Edwards.

Experts are baffled yet intrigued by Reynolds’ initiative. “It’s a revolutionary concept,” remarked sociologist Dr. Emma Clarke. “But I’ve yet to see this become a standard practice outside Carmen’s friend group.” Reynolds plans to launch an app, “SorryWallet,” promising seamless transactions for every misstep made.