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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,965

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Going viral on X:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Going viral on TikTok:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just shared via Slack:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Trending via WeChat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

2 months ago

0

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of silent but deadly versus loud and proud in the house of the Lord! 🙊💨 Who knew wooden pews were the ultimate accomplice in amplifying our embarrassments! Remember, a pew is just a bench, but with holy judgment added for extra sass! 😂🔊"

church, design, fart, humor, pew, shame, wooden

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, blue, blue eye, clumsiness, even, eye, eyes, first impression, gaze, humor, i, impression, just, meeting, moment, never, pale, tell, toe
My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

0

2 months ago

area, arm, arms, Earth, fitness, humor, problem, problem area, self-deprecation, upper, upper arm
The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

0

2 months ago

best, graduation, humor, kid, message, messages, parenting, school, text, text message, unsubscribe
Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

0

2 months ago

alternate, alternate universe, another, face, humor, hypothetical, hypothetical scenario, i, maybe, punch, quiet, regret, scenario, silence, staying, universe
I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

0

2 months ago

another, breaks, coffee, drink, humor, i, routine, take, time
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

0

2 months ago

affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

32 shares on X this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

79 shares on Threads this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,050

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Broadcasted on X:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Broadcasted on X:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Making waves on Telegram:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Just landed via Discord:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

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