Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Live now on WeChat:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Trending via Telegram:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Spotted on X:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Spotted on TikTok:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

2 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting how church pews amplify the embarrassment of farting during service.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of silent but deadly versus loud and proud in the house of the Lord! 🙊💨 Who knew wooden pews were the ultimate accomplice in amplifying our embarrassments! Remember, a pew is just a bench, but with holy judgment added for extra sass! 😂🔊"

church, design, fart, humor, pew, shame, wooden

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Reddit this month:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

52 shares on Threads this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

38 shares on X this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Seen just now on Slack:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Spotted on Instagram:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Spotted on Threads:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Just landed via Discord:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

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