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Commentary:
"Self-checkout cameras: turning everyday shopping trips into dramatic episodes of our own lives since forever! 💸📸😱 #SelfieScare #DramaticShopping"

awareness, better, camera, ever, funny moment, humor, i, moment, reflection, self-checkout, shopping, think, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

0

2 months ago

driving, end, just, light, me, next, rage, right, road, road rage, stop, stop light, terrible, traffic
Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

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2 months ago

bring, happiness, here, humor, i, irony, me, money, over, pass, perspective, relationship, sad, sarcasm
As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

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2 months ago

academic, dream, fiction, grant, humor, i, proposal, remember, sometimes, writing
Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

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2 months ago

around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending
Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

0

2 months ago

birth, celebrate, celebration, Christmas, cool, holiday, humor, pretty, Santa, together, togetherness
My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

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2 months ago

fitness, getting, goal, goal weight, half, humor, illusion, magician, me, saw, trick, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on X this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

70 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Just landed via Instagram:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Live now on WeChat:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Making waves on TikTok:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Making waves on Facebook:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Going viral on Reddit:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨