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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Trending via X:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about procrastination with a playful, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic paradox of productivity! 🤯💼 It's like having a deadline approaching at the speed of light, but instead of tackling the tasks, you end up in a staring contest with your to-do list. Procrastination game strong! 😂 #MasterOfAvoidingResponsibilities

doing, doing nothing, humor, just, know, life, much, nothing, overwhelm, procrastination, productivity, relaxation, sit, tasks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

22 shares on X this month:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Body by sandwich.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via X:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Breaking via TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Just shared via Threads:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Freshly posted on Slack:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

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