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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2460 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,622

Funny Quotes Topics

15,295

Funny Quotes Images

12,622

4 minutes ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Spotted on Instagram:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Going viral on X:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Breaking via Facebook:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Trending via YouTube:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Jan 27, 2025

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the joys of aging – where squinting at tiny instructions becomes a daily workout for the eyes! 👵🔍 Who knew that deciphering minuscule print could become a major challenge in the quest for wisdom and experience? Embrace the magnifying glass, my friend – it's the must-have accessory for the seasoned connoisseur of life's fine print! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #AgingGracefully

age, asking, changes, eyesight, getting, getting older, humor, instructions, keep, know, life, life changes, older, print, small, small print

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Share → : ‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2460 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,622

Funny Quotes Topics

15,295

Funny Quotes Images

12,622

4 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Just landed via TikTok:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Seen just now on Discord:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Live now on Twitch:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Spotted on Discord:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Trending via WeChat:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Just landed via Slack:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Seen just now on Slack:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

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