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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Making waves on Messenger:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Trending via YouTube:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Making waves on Threads:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Seen just now on X:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Freshly posted on X:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Going viral on TikTok:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Spotted on TikTok:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

2 months ago

0

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the joys of aging – where squinting at tiny instructions becomes a daily workout for the eyes! 👵🔍 Who knew that deciphering minuscule print could become a major challenge in the quest for wisdom and experience? Embrace the magnifying glass, my friend – it's the must-have accessory for the seasoned connoisseur of life's fine print! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #AgingGracefully

age, asking, changes, eyesight, getting, getting older, humor, instructions, keep, know, life, life changes, older, print, small, small print

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

0

2 months ago

appearing, books, humor, i, inform, irony, knowledge, read, regret, secret, well-read
Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

0

2 months ago

attention, communication, faster, humor, interaction, irony, media, nobody, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, talk, views
What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

0

2 months ago

captcha, human, humor, image, images, irony, light, lights, select, technology, traffic, traffic light, us
Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

0

2 months ago

alone, care, coping, coping mechanism, dancing, health, humor, life, literally, love, mechanism, mental, mental health, room, save, save life, self, self-care
I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

0

2 months ago

curse, date, dating, humor, i, love, relationship, superstition
Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

0

2 months ago

comfort, companionship, everyone, food, friendship, humor, irony, lettuce, sad, sadness, sugar, support, sure, things, why, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life begins when you can afford it.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Spotted on Twitch:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Trending via X:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Trending via X:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Trending via Facebook:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

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