11 funny instructions quotes - Wordgag

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

May 21, 2026

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

May 21, 2026

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

May 18, 2026

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

May 18, 2026

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Apr 1, 2026

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Mar 29, 2026

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Mar 27, 2026

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Mar 27, 2026

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Mar 26, 2026

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Mar 25, 2026

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Mar 25, 2026