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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Spotted on Facebook:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Trending via Slack:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Trending via Facebook:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

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You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling ignored and unloved? Fear not, for there is always laundry waiting to embrace you with open arms…err, hangers! 🧺✨ Who needs human relationships when you have a trusty pile of clothes to fold, right? 😅 #LaundryIsBae"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

39 shares on X this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Shared recently on Threads:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Going viral on Telegram:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Just landed via Slack:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Trending via Slack:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

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