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People pass a joint around like itโ€™s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, Iโ€™m a weirdo.

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Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

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All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

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Hi, Iโ€™m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as โ€œIโ€™m leaving this stupid placeโ€ and โ€œIโ€™m back everybody.โ€

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Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but itโ€™s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

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Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

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If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, Iโ€™d be in terrific shape.

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Iโ€™ve broken all my New Yearโ€™s Resolutions so now Iโ€™m moving on to laws of nature.

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Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

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The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

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Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Witty text highlighting generational humor with a playful, nostalgic vibe.

Commentary:
"Oh, how times have changed! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Back in my day, young people were so much older at my age! ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ Stay young at heart, folks! ๐ŸŒŸ #GoodOldDays"



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