Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Just landed via Discord:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Just landed via Reddit:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Just shared via Threads:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Live now on Reddit:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Trending via X:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Your opinions are not my business.

2 months ago

0

Your opinions are not my business.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, I see we've entered the realm of 'Opinions R Us' where the only currency accepted is self-righteousness! 💁‍♂️💼✋ Just remember, my friend, opinions are like smartphones – everyone's got one, but they might not be as smart as they think! 📱😜 #OpinionsGalore"

boundary, business, humor, opinion, opinions, personal, personal space, sarcasm, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

0

5 months ago

delete, detox, digital, digital detox, frustration, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, relief, river, social, social media, sometimes, stress, stress relief, technology, throw
Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

0

5 months ago

dance, humor, i, just, liking, move, music, sometimes, song, ugh, wish
Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

0

4 months ago

even, fatigue, humor, little, most, power, powerful, sleepiness, sleepy, still, strength, tiredness
When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

0

2 months ago

accident, always, attitude, back, blame, clumsiness, comedy, denial, fault, funny perspective, humor, humorous, humorous attitude, i, perspective, self, self blame, trip, tripping
Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

0

2 months ago

appetite, feel, food, great, humor, hungry, irony, meal, soup, still, want
Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

0

2 months ago

best, body, dark, dark humor, dead, dead body, hide, humor, internet, later, new, new tab, place, pretty, procrastination, read, read later, sure, tab

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Reddit this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

29 shares on X this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

92 shares on X this month:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Spotted on WeChat:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Spotted on Telegram:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Spotted on YouTube:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Live now on Threads:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Making waves on WeChat:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Live now on Pinterest:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Going viral on Messenger:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Spotted on X:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴