Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Going viral on X:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Trending via X:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Breaking via YouTube:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Spotted on Telegram:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Making waves on Messenger:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Reported on Reddit:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When that dust bunny transforms into an eight-legged ninja, it's time to reevaluate your badass status 🕷️😱 #UnexpectedPlotTwist"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Going viral on Telegram:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Seen just now on Threads:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Making waves on Messenger:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Spotted on Discord:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Spotted on Messenger:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴