Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Going bananas on Threads:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Making waves on YouTube:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Live now on Pinterest:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Shared recently on Threads:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Just shared via Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Shared recently on Threads:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Funny quote about aging and foolishness with witty, playful words on a text image.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, age and wisdom don't always come as a package deal, do they? 🤣 Embrace the journey of becoming older and (hopefully) wiser, even if it means stumbling along the way like a clumsy but enthusiastic puppy 🐶👴🤓.

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

31 shares on Slack this month:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

29 shares on Discord this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more trips planned than I have money.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop dating if you have no car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Just shared via WeChat:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Seen just now on Threads:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Making waves on YouTube:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Just shared via Pinterest:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Shared recently on X:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴