50+ Funny Caffeine Jokes That Make Mornings Buzz

New funny caffeine jokes

• If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

• Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

• Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

• How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

• I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

• “AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

• I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

• Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

• I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

• My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Top funny caffeine jokes

• The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

• Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

• Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

• I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

• Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

• That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

• Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

• When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

• Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

• Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Popular funny caffeine jokes

• I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

• Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

• According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

• My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

• Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

• The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

• Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

• Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

• Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

• Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

More funny caffeine jokes

• Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

• You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

• Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

• Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

• Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

• I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

• Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

• They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

• That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

• Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Witty caffeine jokes

• This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

• My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

• Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

• Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

• Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

• Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

• If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

• Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

• The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

• Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.