50+ Funny Know Jokes That’ll Teach You Nothing but Make You Laugh

New funny know jokes

• Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

• Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

• It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

• Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

• Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

• Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

• If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

• Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

• They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

• Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Top funny know jokes

• If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

• The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

• My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

• Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

• Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

• Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

• I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

• I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

• YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

• I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Popular funny know jokes

• I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

• You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

• Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

• I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

• School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

• If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

• Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

• The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

• I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

• Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

More funny know jokes

• The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

• Does anyone know where I can find true love?

• Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

• A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

• Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

• (Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

• The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

• “Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

• I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

• The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Witty know jokes

• My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

• Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

• Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

• I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

• I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

• America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

• Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

• Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

• I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

• Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.