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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Going viral on X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Just shared via Instagram:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

2 months ago

0

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the invisible Like button strikes again! It's like watching a showdown with a troop of tiny supporters doing the wave in the background 🕺🙌💃. Who needs popcorn when you have backup dancers keeping the drama alive! 🎭🌟 #SocialMediaEntertainment"

arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

0

2 months ago

ask, asked, backfire, boss, communication, drunk, humor, i, should, wait, workplace, workplace humor
I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, club, Club Pee Pee, different, experience, going, humor, i, love, music, nightlife, pee, playing, restaurant
Life update: it’s getting worse.

0

1 month ago

getting, humor, life, pessimism, sarcasm, update, worse
My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

0

2 months ago

bagel, Christian, Dior, diversity, humor, identity, Jewish, mayor, Muslim, religion
Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

0

2 months ago

1816, back, baron, Baron von Heldebrandt, custard, drunk, egg, egg nog, Germany, guys, heldebrandt, humor, invention, nog, von
Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

0

2 months ago

anemia, deficiency, health, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, levels, new, nutrition

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

44 shares on Slack this month:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

49 shares on WeChat this month:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,011

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Trending via Pinterest:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Going viral on Discord:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Live now on X:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Breaking via Discord:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Trending via Telegram:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

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