“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.