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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Just shared via YouTube:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Seen just now on Slack:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Spotted on Twitch:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about vampire enthusiasts balancing hunter and gatherer roles, playful and humorous.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the eternal debate between the vampire hunters and the vampire gatherers! 🦇 While the hunters are out there with their stakes and garlic, the gatherers are happily inviting blood-sucking creatures to tea parties. ☕️ Who knew the undead could be so picky about who they hang out with? 🧛‍♂️ #TeamGatherers #LifeOfTheParty"

comedy, entertainment, gatherer, humor, hunter, movie, satire, too, vampire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

41 shares on X this month:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

22 shares on Twitch this month:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am single, please disturb me!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Making waves on Telegram:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Spotted on Discord:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Live now on Twitch:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Going viral on Slack:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

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