Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.