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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

17 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Trending via Snapchat:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Trending via X:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Breaking via Discord:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Going viral on Instagram:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

6 months ago

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the hot singles over 40 are not just asking for a date, but also for some health advice! 🔥💪 Forget pick-up lines, they want to know your joint pain secrets instead! 💬😂 Who knew finding love could also mean finding the best anti-inflammatory remedy? 🌿💕 #MatchmakingForPainRelief"

40, area, curiosity, dating, hot, hot single, humor, inflammation, joint, joint pain, over, over 40, pain, single, singles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

17 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Making waves on Reddit:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Just landed via Messenger:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Spreading quickly via X:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Going viral on Twitch:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

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