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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has shared:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has viewed:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has copied:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Trending via Slack:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Reported on Reddit:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Spotted on YouTube:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.
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Commentary:
"Who needs food when you can have a liquid diet, right? 🍺🍁 Prost to the ultimate Oktoberfast challenge! Just be sure to 'stein' in moderation πŸ˜‰πŸ€£ #OktoberfestGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has downloaded:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has shared:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has shared:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has shared:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Spotted on Facebook:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Trending via Pinterest:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Making waves on Facebook:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Just shared via TikTok:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Spotted on Threads:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Trending via Slack:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

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