Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.
  • It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.
  • If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.
  • I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.
  • Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.
  • Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.