Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Putting my phone down is a rare occurrence, like spotting a unicorn or finding matching socks in the laundry. 🦄🧦 If someone actually manages to call me during those fleeting moments, it's practically a miracle! ☎️😂"

call, communication, course, distraction, example, humor, i, irony, me, mobile, put, someone, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

0

5 days ago

die, end, humor, midnight, new, new year, only, staying, staying up, watch, year, year-end
Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

0

4 months ago

family, humor, me, parent, parents, relationship, sarcasm, telling
There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

0

2 months ago

every, humor, i, perspective, sarcasm, screenshots, sides, story, storytelling
At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

0

2 months ago

attractive, attractiveness, belly, big, body, body image, breasts, butts, change, humor, image, preferences, trends, waiting
I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

0

2 months ago

adult, bee, challenge, competition, feel, humble, humor, i, literacy, lot, spelling, spelling bee, us
I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

0

2 months ago

apology, commitment, forward, humor, i, relationship, sorry, vows, wedding, work, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

85 shares on X this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

90 shares on X this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Trending via Messenger:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Going bananas on Discord:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Spotted on Facebook:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Just landed via Slack:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨