Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.