Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Trending via LinkedIn:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Just shared via Discord:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Live now on WhatsApp:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Proof that my workout motto is 'Why sweat when you can just pet the dog?' 🐶😅 #NoPainAllGain"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Trending via Reddit:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Just shared via Telegram:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Live now on X:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴