50+ Funny Relationship Quotes That Reveal The Hilarious Side Of Love

New funny relationship quotes

• My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

• I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

• Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

• Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

• If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

• Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

• I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

• Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

• Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

• Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Top funny relationship quotes

• I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

• If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

• “You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

• Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

• The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

• That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

• “You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

• My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

• I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

• Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Popular funny relationship quotes

• Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

• My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

• A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

• Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

• If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

• Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

• My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

• As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

• I love hard, but I stupid harder.

• 89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

More funny relationship quotes

• If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

• Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

• Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

• Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

• For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

• I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

• The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

• You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

• True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

• ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Witty relationship quotes

• Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

• You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

• Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

• Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

• Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

• A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

• You used to calm me on my cell phone!

• I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

• When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

• You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Funny relationship quotes prove that the secret to lasting love might just be shared laughter 😂. Whether it’s laughing at your partner’s quirks 🧦, surviving each other’s weird habits 🧩, or turning daily chaos into inside jokes 🤣, humor keeps relationships strong 💪. These quotes remind us that perfection isn’t the goal 🎯 — it’s about finding someone who laughs at life’s craziness right along with you 👯‍♂️. So keep the jokes coming, cherish the silly moments, and never stop giggling together 🤗.