New funny food quotes

• I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

• How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

• If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

• Talents: eating!

• Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

• What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

• I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

• I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

• Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

• There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Top funny food quotes

• Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

• Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

• Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

• My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

• I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

• Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

• The most important meal of the day is the next one.

• Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

• When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

• Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Popular funny food quotes

• Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

• I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

• Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

• One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

• Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

• Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

• Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

• Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

• If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

• My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

More funny food quotes

• I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

• “Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

• Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

• Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

• I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

• Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

• The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

• I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

• There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

• Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Witty food quotes

• Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

• The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

• My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

• At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

• I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

• Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

• The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

• Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

• I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

• Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Funny food quotes remind us that some of life’s best moments happen with a fork in hand 🍴. From guilty pleasures 🍫 to epic kitchen fails 🔥, food fuels both our bodies and our sense of humor 😂. These quotes are perfect for sharing with fellow food lovers 🍝 or for chuckling at your own snack-related drama 🙃. So celebrate the joy of eating, laugh at the cravings, and always remember: calories don’t count when you’re having fun 🍰!