Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

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I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.