I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.