You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

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Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.