New funny relaxation jokes

• It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

• Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

• Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

• “Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

• Therapy? I have Spotify.

• Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

• Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

• The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

• Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

• “I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Top funny relaxation jokes

• “Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

• There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

• I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

• At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

• A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

• I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

• Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

• No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

• The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

• Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Popular funny relaxation jokes

• Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

• I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

• I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

• “I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

• I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

• I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

• Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

• I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

• Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

• Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

More funny relaxation jokes

• If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

• Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

• “Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

• My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

• Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

• There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

• There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

• Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

• “You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

• The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Witty relaxation jokes

• Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

• Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

• Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

• With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

• Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

• Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

• Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

• I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

• Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

• If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.