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You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

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Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

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If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

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Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

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Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

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Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

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Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

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Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

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Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

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You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.