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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

57 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Live now on Pinterest:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Spotted on WeChat:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Just shared via Facebook:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Trending via Threads:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Live now on Telegram:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Freshly posted on X:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Going viral on Slack:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

6 months ago

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless feud between humans and storybook wolves continues! 🐺📚 Bet that wolf wishes they had a therapist on speed dial for those lingering nightmares about you. Just imagine the therapy sessions: 'So, Mr. Wolf, tell me more about this pesky human from The Neverending Story…' 😂"

character, childhood, fantasy, humor, imagination, me, neverending, Neverending Story, nightmares, still, story, wolf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

57 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Seen just now on Slack:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Spotted on X:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Going viral on Slack:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Breaking via WeChat:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

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